As soon as the door closed behind him, the jukebox came on and the lights dimmed. Neptune was behind the bar again, and as she came closer to us, I saw that she was smiling at Jupiter. "Well, Big Guy, you certainly know how to push his buttons, don't you?"

Jupiter grinned at Neptune. It was true. He and Saturn are such opposite energies that they can't help but aggravate each other at times. Jupiter is generous, optimistic and positive—he's like a cosmic Santa Claus. When he's in the neighborhood of one of our planets, he opens up the goodie shop, tossing treats and favors our way simply because he loves us. Saturn, on the other hand, represents caution, pessimism and discipline. He's an unsmiling schoolteacher who doesn't hand out as easily. Although it's true that we do need both qualities to build a place for ourselves in the world, Jupiter's tactics are a lot easier to deal with—at least for fire sign folks like me they are. "Doesn't take much to get him goin', though, does it, gorgeous?"

Venus

Just then, a small voice came from behind Jupiter. The tones were so pleasing, I knew I was listening to Venus. "Is he really gone? " She peeked around Jupiter's substantial form, smiling slightly.

He reached an arm around her shoulder and hugged her, hard, almost knocking the petite little woman off her feet. Venus was in Virgo at the time, so she'd chosen to wear a neat, form-fitting suit, perfectly tailored, and meticulously clean, of course. When Jupiter let go, she straightened her fine gold hair, arranged her pearls, and pulled out a small mirror to check her makeup. As the goddess of love and beauty, I supposed, it was her job to look good. And she certainly had it down pat. I sensed that in Virgo, she would have been irritated by anyone but Jupiter who'd disarranged her so—especially in public. But Venus and Jupiter have long been known as a team of sorts, the energies classically called "the benefics" by astrologers for centuries, and they were tight. She tossed him an exasperated look, and said "Easy, sweetheart. You're ruining my look."

Jupiter laughed loudly, and chucked her under the chin. "That's impossible, babe. How do you touch perfection?"

Venus blushed, smiled, and hugged him. The Big Guy obviously had her heart. "You're lucky I love you."

"Yes, I am," he said, then turned to Neptune. "A round of drinks on me, gorgeous. And don't be afraid to make mine strong."

As the goddess of intuition, Neptune already knew everything there was to know, and she's also quite fond of Jupiter. She smiled, shook her head, and said "Yes, dear…"

Enter Mercury

I was reaching for my second glass of wine, and getting ready to once again question Jupiter as to why he'd invited me to meet him, when the door burst open and a tall, lanky figure roller-bladed in—backward. He was wearing a Walkman, had a cell phone and a beeper clipped to his belt, and held a small electronic toy in his hand. He looked just like Barry Manilow, too. I recognized him immediately as Mercury, the messenger of the gods, who, apparently, was retrograde.

Next Week in the Cosmic Cafe: Mercury