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Dear Ralfee,

I would like advice regarding my prospects in the area of love and relationship with a guy born April 21, 1958, in the morning, in Munich, Germany. My birthday is May 21, 1955, at 3:20 am, in Teaneck, New Jersey.



Dear Wondering,

I always feel cautious comparing two charts, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Even a mild infatuation opens the heart and makes expectations run high. We want an astrologer to confirm our feelings and bolster our hopes. And being a sentimental slut myself, the first thing I look for between two charts is the romantic glue. That's the fun part—finding the planetary contacts that speak to joyful, passionate and heartfelt connection.

But also being a professional, I realize how important it is to shed light on the shadows. No relationship is without its difficulties, and a careful comparison of two charts always reveals the potential challenges. And that's why I hesitate. When we're in the first blush of romance, hardly anyone wants to hear about the problems.

Of course, from a transformational point of view, the gifts you share with one another can be put to good use working on the challenges. But not everyone wants to do the personal work it takes to make any relationship grow and prosper. What's more, some of us want our relationships to be smooth as silk. Others want their union to be a storm at sea, with waves of intensity continually moving them into deeper and deeper waters.

So I can't really tell you what your prospects are with this man. All I can do is try to illuminate how you spark each other.

That's my astro-disclaimer.

Having said all that, you and this man share many, many contacts between your charts. Some of this planetary connective tissue is strong and sweet. And some of the shared energy touches sensitive issues for both of you.

Because we don't have your boyfriend's exact time of birth, it's hard to be accurate about his Moon—and the Moon is essential for this type of comparison. So what follows is a general picture, with significant highlights.

Your Venus is conjunct your boyfriend's Sun. This is a wonderful touchstone. No matter what avenue the relationship takes, it makes you friends. Venus rules love, beauty and ideals. The Sun is the essence of a person. And when they occupy the same space, you share a similar sensibility. This rapport easily translates into conversation, common interests and like values.

Jupiter also blesses both of your charts. And that spells fun and laughter. Lots of it. Jupiter also likes to make merry. You're apt to encourage each other's appetites for excess. Among the most significant Jupiter contacts, your boyfriend's Jupiter is conjunct your natal Neptune in the Seventh House of relationship. Neptune rules fantasy. Jupiter rules big. Together, Jupiter and Neptune exaggerate. That expansive attitude easily translates into a tendency to idealize each other. Avoid putting each other on pedestals. Not that there's anything wrong with worship. It's just easier to sustain a relationship when you remember your partner has feet of clay. When gods or goddesses come crashing down, disappointment fills the air. When humans make mistakes, it's not such a big deal.

But that's not all. Mercury also plays a role in your relationship. Mercury loves to chat about every little thing. And your mental affinity is an astro-mind-meld. Your thoughts are empathetic. You both love exploring new ideas. And this intellectual connection is so stimulating that conversations become a turn-on.

There is, however, a difficult Mercury contact between your charts, and this is where the shadows start to reveal themselves. Your boyfriend's Saturn opposes your Mercury. Saturn is seldom shy about offering its strong opinions. But the recipient of these admonitions often hears Saturn's voice as stern and critical. This Saturn-Mercury opposition is likely to make you self-conscious and hypersensitive to your boyfriend's comments.

What's more, your boyfriend's birth chart reveals several challenging Mars aspects, which means he's wrestling with issues of self-assertion and anger. His natal Mars squares both your Sun and Moon, which means you're apt to trigger those very same aggression themes. Somewhere along the road of your relationship, shared laughter switches into heated disagreement. You'll need to find healthy ways of handling hostility. Many other Mars contacts between your charts make this relationship highly physical and filled with energy and passion.

One more bit: Your boyfriend's Pluto trines your Venus, creating an air of destiny or fate. Pluto trine Venus also carries a dynamic sexual charge. Pluto is prone to obsessive-compulsive attraction. Almost as if you can never quite satisfy your craving for each other. What's more, when two people share so many astrological contacts, the relationship often feels familiar even before it begins. Almost as if you're picking up where you left off.

Whatever your prospects with this man may be, you just began a new relationship cycle. The recent Saturn-Jupiter conjunction occurred exactly on your Moon. This new phase is filled with emotional promise and opportunity. So take a moment and reflect on your past relationship patterns. See if this man fits an old mold, or if he embodies the energy of something new. Saturn and Jupiter lend support for an entirely new approach to relationships. And that's the best prospect of all.



Ralfee Finn is the creator of The Aquarium Age, a weekly and monthly astrology column published nationwide and featured at Committed to compassion, knowledge and growth, Ralfee brings the gifts of clarity and common sense to the often confusing waters of metaphysics and new age philosophy.

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For more information about Ralfee Finn, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Ralfee Finn:

  • Aquarium Age   8/9/2007
  • Aquarium Age   11/10/2005
  • Aquarium Age   9/22/2005
  • Aquarium Age   2/3/2005
  • Aquarium Age   1/6/2005
  • Aquarium Age 10-26-01   10/26/2001
  • Aquarium Age 10-5-01   10/5/2001
  • Aquarium Age 9-28-01   9/28/2001
  • Aquarium Age 9-21-01   9/21/2001
  • Aquarium Age 9-13-01   9/13/2001
  • Aquarium Age 9-7-01   9/7/2001
  • Aquarium Age 9-7-01   9/7/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-31-01   8/30/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-31-01   8/30/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-17-01   8/24/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-24-01   8/24/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-17-01   8/17/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-17-01   8/17/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-10-01   8/10/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-10-01   8/10/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-3-01   8/3/2001
  • Aquarium Age 8-3-01   8/3/2001
  • Aquarium Age 7-27-01   7/27/2001
  • Aquarium Age 7-13-01   7/13/2001
  • Aquarium Age 7-13-01   7/13/2001
  • Aquarium Age 7-6-01   7/6/2001
  • Aquarium Age 6-29-01   6/29/2001
  • Aquarium Age 6-22-01   6/22/2001
  • Aquarium Age 6-15-01   6/15/2001
  • Aquarium Age 6-7-01   6/8/2001
  • Aquarium Age 6-1-01   6/1/2001
  • Aquarium Age 5-18-01   5/17/2001
  • Aquarium Age 5-04-01   5/4/2001
  • Aquarium Age 5-4-01   5/4/2001

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