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 My
birth date is November 2, 1970, at 4:32 am, in Los Angeles, California.
I desperately need some insight on how to handle my Saturn return. To
be totally honest, I have feared this ever since I learned what a Saturn
return was. I recently discovered that I was born during my mother's return
(she was born January 28, 1942, at 6:00 pm, in Kansas City, Missouri).
It has been difficult living in this house with both of us going through
this at the same time.
I
guess what I'm asking is: What would you suggest be my point of focus
during this time? I feel overwhelmed with emotion all the time and I truly
want to change my opinion that a Saturn return is a negative event. I
am open to any and all suggestions.
Thank
you in advance,
TM
Dear
TM:
Forget
all the bad news you've heard about a Saturn return. And fear not. Saturn
isn't the devil. And there's no need to dread its return.
Saturn
takes approximately 28-30 years to complete its orbit around the Sun.
And similarly, it takes the same amount of time to complete its journey
around the birth chart. When Saturn returns to its place of origin, we
close one cycle and begin another. The transition between these two phases
is a period of distillation. Saturn says it's time to examine our life.
So what's been ignored comes to the surface. What's being denied gets
in our face. And we focus on who we are, where we're going, and what we
want to achieve.
From
a transformational perspective, our first Saturn return is an initiation
into maturity. Put simply, it's all about growing up and becoming an adult.
Most of us think we become adults when we're legally of age. But our twenties
are actually a time of transition. We're out from under the thumb of parental
supervision, free to make our own choices, and busy gathering life experience.
The first Saturn return coincides with the end of this experimental period,
and opens a portal to the next phase of life.
In
order to make the most of a Saturn return it's important to understand
Saturn's role. Saturn is about structure. Yes, Saturn has a bad street
reputation for being a tough disciplinarian. But it is not essentially
vindictive or punishing. Saturn is sober. Serious. And devoted to solid
ground. Saturn sets limits and establishes boundaries.
Most
importantly, Saturn sees what needs to be learned next. On the negative
end of this discerning spectrum, the lens turns critical and focuses on
flaws and imperfections. Saturn becomes the judge, pronouncing its verdicts
in the rigid language of black and white.
On
the positive end of the spectrum, Saturn is the teacher. Teachers don't
blame us for not knowing. Quite the contrary, a good teacher automatically
assumes the need for additional knowledge and helps us develop the skills
to acquire that information.
When
Saturn functions as a teacher, it sees compassionately and brings into
focus the many shades of gray contained in any situation. What we don't
know isn't held against us.
Embrace
your first Saturn return as an opportunity to gather knowledge and soften
harsh self-judgment or the self-righteous judgment of others. Use this
distillation process as a tool to sort through what you've made of your
life thus far. Then, integrate that information and allow it to motivate
you into a new, positive attitude.
The
second Saturn return (which your mother is experiencing) offers the same
opportunities for growth but extends a slightly different invitation to
wisdom. When we're in our late fifties, our perspective is different.
The energy of youth is behind us. We're seasoned with experience and have
a lot to reflect on. It's a poignant time. We can see the consequences
of choices made in the heat of the moment. If we're happy in our lives,
we're satisfied with our decisions. If we're not, we often hit a hard
wall of regret.
The
deeper opportunity of the second Saturn return is also a distillation
process. It's the chance to move into the wisdom years, mentoring, sharing
hard-earned knowledge and encouraging our children to live life fully.
You
and your mother are at the same juncture, but with two entirely different
goals.
Significantly,
T., you have a Saturn-Venus opposition in your natal chart. This tense
relationship speaks to a lot of self-judgment. Of course, your mom's Saturn
is also exactly opposite your Venus, which indicates you would have perceived
her as highly critical of you and emotionally distant. What's more, because
we treat ourselves the way we were treated as children, you may have internalized
your mother's critical voice and made it your own.
Your
mother's birth chart also contains a difficult Saturn-Venus contact. (When
we compare the charts of family members, we often discover they share
the same astrological themes.) You and your mother are both doing soul
work on issues of self-worth.
You
have no control over how your mother resolves this issue. But you do have
a say in how you heal it. Make every effort to drop rigid judgments aimed
at yourself or others. You have the potential to become the lineage breaker
in your family and free yourself from the harsh internal voice that continually
tells you you're not good enough.
But
that's not all: You and your mother are both experiencing Saturn returns
as Uranus simultaneously squares your Saturns. Uranus catalyzes change,
disrupts the status quo and will do anything to break down old, useless
systems that no longer serve. Certainly, negative self-judgment serves
no one. But letting go of old attitudes and belief systems is hard work.
It requires devotion, discipline and determination.
You
and your mom are also both fixed signs, which means neither of you gives
up or gives in easily. Fixed signs hold on tight—at least until they're
confident they've found a better way. Maintaining this energetic grip
may be one of the reasons you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
One
more bit: You've been through a lot of changes over the last several years.
Uranus, in Aquarius, squared all your planets in Scorpio. And now, as
part of your Saturn return, Uranus is also squaring your Venus. Because
you have Libra Rising, Venus is your ruling planet and closely associated
with your sense of identity. In a nutshell, you're being asked to shed
one skin but you haven't quite grown the new one. Identity crises always
make us hypersensitive. And this vulnerability contributes to your charged
emotional state.
Synthesizing
all of these energies all at the same time is hard work. But this is an
extraordinarily powerful time. Make your Saturn return goal the authentic
realization of your own true value. Use Saturn to get to the bones of
what matters most to you. This cycle, while it coincides with your mother's
Saturn cycle, is about you, not her.
If
you're in therapy, devote your time to processing through how your relationship
with your mother impacts your self-esteem and self-confidence. If you
aren't in therapy, this would be a very juicy time to start a deep therapeutic
process. Under the influence of Saturn and Uranus we have opportunities
to make big leaps in self-awareness. What's more, you might leave behind
the negative ties binding you to your mother and enter a period of independence
and autonomy.
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