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Dear Jilly:

I was born on July 16, 1967, in Wolverhampton England, sometime between 9:00 and 11:00 pm. I'm pretty sure I have Pisces rising, as I've been told this before, and have “the look.” I have had a troubled but passionate relationship with my boyfriend, born August 17, 1961 in Arundel, England. We’ve been together for about seven years and I have lived with him for almost three. Problem is, I feel the relationship is going nowhere, and often feel constricted by it. Although I still have strong feelings for him, he cannot fully commit to a future that includes a family, and is a bit too fond of big drinking nights out with his friends. I've just moved out, and already feel a strong sense of freedom. Am I doing the right thing? Are romance and children around the corner with someone else, or should I give my old love another try? What do you think, Jilly?

Lizzie

Dear Lizzie:

The first thing that struck me about your chart, dear Lizzie, is the fact that your Moon (emotional desires) is conjunct (very close to) your Neptune, both in the smoldering, sexy sign of Scorpio, in the Eighth House of marriage. Neptune is thought of as the planet of healing and illusion. Your Moon-Neptune connection suggests that your deepest desire is to "cross over" into a magical state through sex and through a dark, meaningful and scary-intense communion with another person. Sounds, fabulous, eh?

However, dear girl, before you pull out your black negligee, lubes and oils, read on. This aspect also makes you prone to projecting illusions onto your primary lover. It's like you're writing an epic novel—part shocking smut and part sexual healing—and you're feeding the lines and moves to the man in your bed. Before dealing with your loverboy's issues, I suggest you make a pact with yourself that you will dig deep, deep, deep within your own soul to figure out what you most intensely desire, as well as what your most primal fears are. See if you can begin to work those issues from your subconscious to your conscious mind. Then you won't have to project an overly romanticized stud-savior mask onto your lover!

Husband Material or Drunken Bum?

Speaking of lovers, your man Lyle has three planets (Sun, Mercury and Uranus) and the North Node in big, vain, beautiful, self-involved, loyal and pompous Leo, and they all square your Moon and Neptune in Scorpio. Squares suggest an element of friction that tends to make for really great or really annoying sex. Squares force people to get over their stubborn, controlling desires and find a way to groove with (as opposed to totally dominating or totally submitting to) another person. Or not!

Since it lasted three years, I presume that in the beginning of your relationship, the combination of friction (sexual tension) and fiction (the Neptune fantasies you were projecting onto him) probably made this relationship incredibly dynamic, sexy and meaningful. But now that the long honeymoon is over, it's time for you to see this guy as he really is.

With Venus in Cancer and Mars in Libra, he’s probably a lot more passive than he appears. Sure, all the Leo planets give the illusion of a strong, almost macho personality, but oddly enough, beneath the blustery bravado lies the heart of a hen-pecked husband.

So, since you say you want marriage and kids and he seems to have hubby/daddy potential, how come you haven't tied the knot yet? Well, my guess is that you were on to something when you mentioned his frequent pub-crawls with his mates.

As it happens, Lyle's Neptune is conjunct your South Node of the Moon (past lives), both in Scorpio. This suggests a past life connection in which there might have been deception, or in which it was hard for either of you to see the other in reality as opposed to fantasy. Plus, this aspect sometimes suggests a past life connection as "drinking buddies." I don't know if Lyle has a drinking "problem" or not, but it does look like your relationship might be driving him to drink!

This is no slur on you dear Lizzie. What I mean is this: the unconscious elements of fantasy, projection and conflicting illusions between you may make you feel constricted by Lyle and may make him feel like running to the nearest bar to avoid thinking about the deeper buttons that are being pushed in him. If this relationship were to work, you two would have to work hard, hard, hard on seeing each other as you really are, not as you want each other to be.

What’s Around the Corner?

In terms of what might be next on your horizon, Lizzie, don't worry about being alone too long. In fact, I suggest you slip some condoms into your own Christmas stocking because your vibes in January will probably make the men in your town chase you like dogs in heat! And sweetie, you are particularly fertile during late 2000/early 2001, so unless you want to get knocked up on the rebound from Lyle, I suggest you rubber up, and I don't mean in your skin-tight black latex dress!

You see, on January 9, 2001, a major eclipse in Cancer will hit your Sun and your Mercury, both in your Fifth House. The Fifth House is associated with romantic drama, creativity and children. The eclipse signals a six-month cycle in which your emotions will struggle to be heard. The ultimate goal of this cycle is to help your inner desires match up with the outer reality of your life.

I wouldn't be surprised if a new man enters your life and if you enjoy a very teenage-style, giddy series of romps with him. But before you play the projection game with him, as you did with Lyle, FORCE yourself to see this man as he really is. And do talk about marriage, kids and all the things you really want (when you're not too busy getting boinked). Stop separating your sexuality from the rest of your reality. Go for the whole package: passion with commitment.

And here's an added tip: Since your passion is tied up with creativity in your Fifth House, I have a feeling you might meet your combination Mr. Right/Mr. Right Now while pursuing an artistic endeavor. Throw in a fountain pen, microphone or a paintbrush along with the condoms in your stocking!

Good luck, Lizzie!

Jilly

Notes

Send relationship questions to Jill at ASTROJILLY@aol.com. Please include the words "Bedroom Astrology" in the subject line.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jill Dearman is the author of the gay best sellers Queer Astrology For Men and Queer Astrology For Women (St. Martins Griffin/1999). She has been professionally practicing astrology for twelve years and currently writes horoscopes for the national magazines Twist and Girlfriends as well as numerous papers syndicated via Q Syndicate. She has written about subjects from astrology to literature to film and theater in Mademoiselle, Publishers Weekly and HX. An excerpt from her upcoming novel, The Great Bravura, was featured in Best Lesbian Erotica 2000(Cleis Press). She also writes and produces films. The Village Voice called Dearman a "risk surfing playwright" whose work "shocks and rocks." She is a 1999/2000 artist in residence at HERE in New York City.

Jill is also the author of LoveCycles, an email-delivered guide to love and relationships based on individual birth data, available in the Shop@StarIQ.

Visit the author's website.

Send an email to the author.

For more information about Jill Dearman, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Jill Dearman:

  • Brendan Fraser: More Than Just a Pretty Face   4/27/2001
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: Every Girl's Heroine   4/25/2001
  • Geoffrey Rush: The Moody Marquis   3/23/2001
  • Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt: Still Peaking   1/30/2001
  • Kate Winslet's Passionate Choices   12/29/2000
  • Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: What Does This Woman Want?   12/5/2000
  • Bounce Star Ben Affleck: The Ball is in His Court   12/1/2000
  • Charlie's Angels: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu   11/25/2000
  • Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger: Dr. Seuss Meets Nurse Betty   11/17/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-15-00   11/15/2000
  • Dylan on Dylan   11/10/2000
  • Bono's Return to Roots of Rock   11/4/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-1-00   11/1/2000
  • Geena Davis and Bette Midler: Big Stars on the Small Screen   10/27/2000
  • Janet Jackson's Down-to-Earth Planets   10/21/2000
  • Gloria Steinem: Happy At Last   10/14/2000
  • The Strange Musical Path of Bjork   9/26/2000
  • Picture Perfect Couple: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston   9/15/2000
  • Harrison and Michelle: A Return to Classic Hollywood   9/8/2000
  • Drew Barrymore: Happily Ever After At Last?   9/1/2000
  • Meg Ryan in the Middle   8/18/2000
  • Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark is Back   8/12/2000
  • The Return of Cat Stevens   8/4/2000
  • Lou Reed and The Smashing Pumpkins: Piscean Themes   7/29/2000
  • Patti Smith: Her Gung Ho Comeback   7/21/2000
  • Rupert Everett: The Ultimate Gemini   7/7/2000
  • Angelina and Billy Bob: Hollywood's Mod, Odd Couple   6/30/2000
  • The Virgin Suicides: New Hollywood Meets Old Hollywood   6/2/2000
  • Opposites Attract On Screen   5/26/2000
  • Beatty and Bening's New Baby   5/19/2000
  • Aquarian Psycho   5/12/2000
  • Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez   5/5/2000
  • Chloe Sevigny's Scorpionic Exploration of Sexuality   3/25/2000
  • Water Signs Rule the Cider House   3/23/2000
  • These Men are from Venus   3/10/2000
  • The Tangled Web of Ripley   3/2/2000
  • Aries Grrrl Warriors: Where Will They Go From Here?   2/18/2000

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