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Dear
Jilly:
I
was born on July 16, 1967, in Wolverhampton England, sometime between
9:00 and 11:00 pm. I'm pretty sure I have Pisces rising, as I've been
told this before, and have “the look.” I have had a troubled but passionate
relationship with my boyfriend, born August 17, 1961 in Arundel, England.
We’ve been together for about seven years and I have lived with him for
almost three. Problem is, I feel the relationship is going nowhere, and
often feel constricted by it. Although I still have strong feelings for
him, he cannot fully commit to a future that includes a family, and is
a bit too fond of big drinking nights out with his friends. I've just
moved out, and already feel a strong sense of freedom. Am I doing the
right thing? Are romance and children around the corner with someone else,
or should I give my old love another try? What do you think, Jilly?
Lizzie
Dear
Lizzie:
The first
thing that struck me about your chart, dear Lizzie, is the fact that your
Moon (emotional desires) is conjunct (very close to) your Neptune, both
in the smoldering, sexy sign of Scorpio, in the Eighth House of marriage.
Neptune is thought of as the planet of healing and illusion. Your Moon-Neptune
connection suggests that your deepest desire is to "cross over"
into a magical state through sex and through a dark, meaningful and scary-intense
communion with another person. Sounds, fabulous, eh?
However,
dear girl, before you pull out your black negligee, lubes and oils, read
on. This aspect also makes you prone to projecting illusions onto your
primary lover. It's like you're writing an epic novel—part shocking smut
and part sexual healing—and you're feeding the lines and moves to the
man in your bed. Before dealing with your loverboy's issues, I suggest
you make a pact with yourself that you will dig deep, deep, deep within
your own soul to figure out what you most intensely desire, as well as
what your most primal fears are. See if you can begin to work those issues
from your subconscious to your conscious mind. Then you won't have to
project an overly romanticized stud-savior mask onto your lover!
Husband
Material or Drunken Bum?
Speaking
of lovers, your man Lyle has three planets (Sun, Mercury and Uranus) and
the North Node in big, vain, beautiful, self-involved, loyal and pompous
Leo, and they all square your Moon and Neptune in Scorpio. Squares suggest
an element of friction that tends to make for really great or really annoying
sex. Squares force people to get over their stubborn, controlling desires
and find a way to groove with (as opposed to totally dominating or totally
submitting to) another person. Or not!
Since it
lasted three years, I presume that in the beginning of your relationship,
the combination of friction (sexual tension) and fiction (the Neptune
fantasies you were projecting onto him) probably made this relationship
incredibly dynamic, sexy and meaningful. But now that the long honeymoon
is over, it's time for you to see this guy as he really is.
With
Venus in Cancer and Mars in Libra, he’s probably a lot more passive than he
appears. Sure, all the Leo planets give the illusion of a strong, almost
macho personality, but oddly enough, beneath the blustery bravado lies
the heart of a hen-pecked husband.
So, since
you say you want marriage and kids and he seems to have hubby/daddy potential,
how come you haven't tied the knot yet? Well, my guess is that you were
on to something when you mentioned his frequent pub-crawls with his mates.
As it happens,
Lyle's Neptune is conjunct your South Node of the Moon (past lives), both
in Scorpio. This suggests a past life connection in which there might
have been deception, or in which it was hard for either of you to see
the other in reality as opposed to fantasy. Plus, this aspect sometimes
suggests a past life connection as "drinking buddies." I don't
know if Lyle has a drinking "problem" or not, but it does look
like your relationship might be driving him to drink!
This is no
slur on you dear Lizzie. What I mean is this: the unconscious
elements of fantasy, projection and conflicting illusions between you may make
you feel constricted by Lyle and may make him feel like running to the
nearest bar to avoid thinking about the deeper buttons that are being
pushed in him. If this relationship were to work, you two would have to
work hard, hard, hard on seeing each other as you really are, not as you
want each other to be.
What’s
Around the Corner?
In terms
of what might be next on your horizon, Lizzie, don't worry about being
alone too long. In fact, I suggest you slip some condoms into your own
Christmas stocking because your vibes in January will probably make the
men in your town chase you like dogs in heat! And sweetie, you are particularly
fertile during late 2000/early 2001, so unless you want to get knocked
up on the rebound from Lyle, I suggest you rubber up, and I don't mean
in your skin-tight black latex dress!
You see,
on January 9, 2001, a major eclipse in Cancer will hit your Sun and your
Mercury, both in your Fifth House. The Fifth House is associated with
romantic drama, creativity and children. The eclipse signals a six-month
cycle in which your emotions will struggle to be heard. The ultimate goal
of this cycle is to help your inner desires match up with the outer reality
of your life.
I wouldn't
be surprised if a new man enters your life and if you enjoy a very teenage-style,
giddy series of romps with him. But before you play the projection game
with him, as you did with Lyle, FORCE yourself to see this man as he really
is. And do talk about marriage, kids and all the things you really want
(when you're not too busy getting boinked). Stop separating your sexuality
from the rest of your reality. Go for the whole package: passion with
commitment.
And here's
an added tip: Since your passion is tied up with creativity in your Fifth
House, I have a feeling you might meet your combination Mr. Right/Mr.
Right Now while pursuing an artistic endeavor. Throw in a fountain pen,
microphone or a paintbrush along with the condoms in your stocking!
Good luck,
Lizzie!
Jilly
Notes
Send relationship
questions to Jill at ASTROJILLY@aol.com. Please include the words "Bedroom
Astrology" in the subject line.
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