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Dear Jilly:

Astrology Horoscope: Cautious SagAstrology Horoscope: Scorpio FianceeI'm a 48-year-old Sagittarius male, born December 2, 1952 in Rochester, New York, at 7:32 pm. I am engaged to a Scorpio lady, born on November 3, 1953, in Lexington Park, Maryland, at approximately 8:30 am. I'm about three years out of a 24-year marriage to another Scorpio, who showed her true nature in blaming me for her problems, finding a lover in her rehab group then summarily ending the marriage. You might see why, while moving forward with my new relationship, I have a bit of trepidation in dealing with another Scorpio. I know that all people, and their charts, are different, but I don't want to repeat the stinging Scorpio trauma I experienced. I believe marriage is a life-long commitment and do not promise it easily, but am hoping a comparison of our charts might show some aspects for the long-term future of this union. Can you shed any light on them?

Cautious Sagittarius

Dear Cautious:

As a sharp-tongued Scorpio woman myself, I can understand your fear of this dark, volatile sign! I'll never forget what I said to my first boyfriend in high school during a fight. I called him emotionally null and void. I will forever feel guilty for being such a bitch! However, looking deeply into your fiancée’s chart, I can say with some confidence that she has the earmarks of being a more evolved breed of Scorpio than your evil ex!

First of all, Saturn, the planet of maturity and self-discipline, sits near her Sun in Scorpio. This suggests that she has the capacity to restrain the more destructive side of her nature. (We all have that side. Scorpios just tend to be more extreme than others—nine out of ten times we seem to be either good or evil!) I believe that she is aware of her dark side and has the capacity through will power to keep a handle on it. Your ex sounds blissfully and cruelly lacking in self-awareness.

Sadly, there are no rehab programs that are geared specifically for sleazy, manipulative people! Your nice Scorpio fiancée, however, probably lives by the credo that is found in a Johnny Cash song: "Because you're mine, I walk the line." When she is invested in a long-term commitment (Saturn) she can use her Scorpionic strength to stay the course without giving in to irrational urges to destroy the relationship or herself.

In addition, she has Mars (passion) on her Moon (emotions) in peace-loving Libra. She prefers harmony to chaos. Sounds like that ex of yours lived her life in the reverse gear.

What You Two Have Going for You

Your fiancée’s Chiron—an asteriod that symbolizes a wound, and the potential healing of it—sits on your Venus, planet of love, in the mature, noble sign of Capricorn. This suggests that although sometimes she may unknowingly push buttons that remind you of your horrible ex, she ultimately is just the person who can heal some of those old hurts. Certainly this connection indicates the potential good will between you that is the hallmark of all healing relationships.

In addition, your Sun (who you are in the world) in optimistic Sagittarius is in the same sign as her rising sign (outer persona). This bodes well for you two wanting the same things in life and sharing the same goals, which is also the cement that many a good marriage is built on. Plus, Sag is a "late bloomer" sign—adventurous, untethered in early life, and often finding itself in mid-life. So, in a way, you are very lucky to have come together at this more grown-up time in your lives, instead of when you were in an adventurous/searching period (like the twenties is for most people).

Don’t Be Too Careful

Your Saturn (restraint) is on her Venus (love) though, so just be careful to not inhibit her Scorpio "dark" side too much. Some of that darkness is healthy—it's what makes her deep and sexy and capable of intense intimacy. I'm sure you like her wild side in bed, wily Sag! Well, that's part and parcel of the whole Scorpio package.

But you need to tune in to the other planet in your chart that sits on her Venus—Neptune. Neptune is capable of great imagination, psychic intuition and empathy. Try this, darling: on that rare occasion when your Scorpio love does let her venom fly, ask her what she's afraid of, how you can help her, what she needs from you, what her fantasy is at that moment. You dig? Disarm her with your sense of security in yourself and your relationship, and respond to her volatile side with compassion and true interest in what motivates her, instead of jumping fast and furious to defend yourself.

What’s in Store Behind Closed Doors

So what does the future hold for you two? Well, in March 2001 (if the birth time is correct), lucky Jupiter (your ruler) transits her Descendant (doorway to the house of partnership). This could be an incredibly romantic and generous time in her life. She will be open to giving more to you, as a lover, than ever before. You're in the right place at the right time buddy, especially if you like to receive, receive, receive in bed, you wild Sag man, you!

Then, in June 2001, Jupiter comes back to where it was during the time of her birth—in her house of love. Whether the wedding date is set for June or not, that looks like the "jumping off point" for your relationship. That could be the time that she reassures you well enough to put your worries aside and jump into this relationship, fully, and truly enjoy what you have together without so much fear and trepidation.

Then in July 2001, Jupiter hits your Moon in your soulful Twelfth House of endings and new beginnings. Could it be that then you are able to finally finish your mourning period for your former wife, and open your heart to your new (and much, much, much improved) wife? Best of luck to you both, boy!



Send relationship questions to Jill at Please include the words "Bedroom Astrology" in the subject line.



Jill Dearman is the author of the gay best sellers Queer Astrology For Men and Queer Astrology For Women (St. Martins Griffin/1999). She has been professionally practicing astrology for twelve years and currently writes horoscopes for the national magazines Twist and Girlfriends as well as numerous papers syndicated via Q Syndicate. She has written about subjects from astrology to literature to film and theater in Mademoiselle, Publishers Weekly and HX. An excerpt from her upcoming novel, The Great Bravura, was featured in Best Lesbian Erotica 2000(Cleis Press). She also writes and produces films. The Village Voice called Dearman a "risk surfing playwright" whose work "shocks and rocks." She is a 1999/2000 artist in residence at HERE in New York City.

Jill is also the author of LoveCycles, an email-delivered guide to love and relationships based on individual birth data, available in the Shop@StarIQ.

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For more information about Jill Dearman, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Jill Dearman:

  • Brendan Fraser: More Than Just a Pretty Face   4/27/2001
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: Every Girl's Heroine   4/25/2001
  • Geoffrey Rush: The Moody Marquis   3/23/2001
  • Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt: Still Peaking   1/30/2001
  • Kate Winslet's Passionate Choices   12/29/2000
  • Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: What Does This Woman Want?   12/5/2000
  • Bounce Star Ben Affleck: The Ball is in His Court   12/1/2000
  • Charlie's Angels: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu   11/25/2000
  • Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger: Dr. Seuss Meets Nurse Betty   11/17/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-15-00   11/15/2000
  • Dylan on Dylan   11/10/2000
  • Bono's Return to Roots of Rock   11/4/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-1-00   11/1/2000
  • Geena Davis and Bette Midler: Big Stars on the Small Screen   10/27/2000
  • Janet Jackson's Down-to-Earth Planets   10/21/2000
  • Gloria Steinem: Happy At Last   10/14/2000
  • The Strange Musical Path of Bjork   9/26/2000
  • Picture Perfect Couple: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston   9/15/2000
  • Harrison and Michelle: A Return to Classic Hollywood   9/8/2000
  • Drew Barrymore: Happily Ever After At Last?   9/1/2000
  • Meg Ryan in the Middle   8/18/2000
  • Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark is Back   8/12/2000
  • The Return of Cat Stevens   8/4/2000
  • Lou Reed and The Smashing Pumpkins: Piscean Themes   7/29/2000
  • Patti Smith: Her Gung Ho Comeback   7/21/2000
  • Rupert Everett: The Ultimate Gemini   7/7/2000
  • Angelina and Billy Bob: Hollywood's Mod, Odd Couple   6/30/2000
  • The Virgin Suicides: New Hollywood Meets Old Hollywood   6/2/2000
  • Opposites Attract On Screen   5/26/2000
  • Beatty and Bening's New Baby   5/19/2000
  • Aquarian Psycho   5/12/2000
  • Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez   5/5/2000
  • Chloe Sevigny's Scorpionic Exploration of Sexuality   3/25/2000
  • Water Signs Rule the Cider House   3/23/2000
  • These Men are from Venus   3/10/2000
  • The Tangled Web of Ripley   3/2/2000
  • Aries Grrrl Warriors: Where Will They Go From Here?   2/18/2000

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