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Dear
Jilly:
 I'm
a 48-year-old Sagittarius male, born December 2, 1952 in Rochester, New
York, at 7:32 pm. I am engaged to a Scorpio lady, born on November 3,
1953, in Lexington Park, Maryland, at approximately 8:30 am. I'm about
three years out of a 24-year marriage to another Scorpio, who showed her
true nature in blaming me for her problems, finding a lover in her rehab
group then summarily ending the marriage. You might see why, while moving
forward with my new relationship, I have a bit of trepidation in dealing
with another Scorpio. I know that all people, and their charts, are different,
but I don't want to repeat the stinging Scorpio trauma I experienced.
I believe marriage is a life-long commitment and do not promise it easily,
but am hoping a comparison of our charts might show some aspects for the
long-term future of this union. Can you shed any light on them?
Cautious
Sagittarius
Dear
Cautious:
As a sharp-tongued
Scorpio woman myself, I can understand your fear of this dark, volatile
sign! I'll never forget what I said to my first boyfriend in high school
during a fight. I called him emotionally null and void. I will forever
feel guilty for being such a bitch! However, looking deeply into your
fiancée’s chart, I can say with some confidence that she has the earmarks
of being a more evolved breed of Scorpio than your evil ex!
First of
all, Saturn, the planet of maturity and self-discipline, sits near her
Sun in Scorpio. This suggests that she has the capacity to restrain the
more destructive side of her nature. (We all have that side. Scorpios
just tend to be more extreme than others—nine out of ten times we seem
to be either good or evil!) I believe that she is aware of her dark side
and has the capacity through will power to keep a handle on it. Your ex
sounds blissfully and cruelly lacking in self-awareness.
Sadly, there
are no rehab programs that are geared specifically for sleazy, manipulative
people! Your nice Scorpio fiancée, however, probably lives by the credo
that is found in a Johnny Cash song: "Because you're mine, I walk
the line." When she is invested in a long-term commitment (Saturn)
she can use her Scorpionic strength to stay the course without giving
in to irrational urges to destroy the relationship or herself.
In addition,
she has Mars (passion) on her Moon (emotions) in peace-loving Libra. She
prefers harmony to chaos. Sounds like that ex of yours lived her life
in the reverse gear.
What
You Two Have Going for You
Your fiancée’s
Chiron—an asteriod that symbolizes a wound, and the potential healing
of it—sits on your Venus, planet of love, in the mature, noble sign of
Capricorn. This suggests that although sometimes she may unknowingly push
buttons that remind you of your horrible ex, she ultimately is just the
person who can heal some of those old hurts. Certainly this connection
indicates the potential good will between you that is the hallmark of
all healing relationships.
In addition,
your Sun (who you are in the world) in optimistic Sagittarius is
in the same sign as her rising sign (outer persona). This bodes well for you two wanting the
same things in life and sharing the same goals, which is also the cement
that many a good marriage is built on. Plus, Sag is a "late bloomer"
sign—adventurous, untethered in early life, and often finding itself in
mid-life. So, in a way, you are very lucky to have come together at this
more grown-up time in your lives, instead of when you were in an adventurous/searching
period (like the twenties is for most people).
Don’t
Be Too Careful
Your Saturn
(restraint) is on her Venus (love) though, so just be careful to not inhibit
her Scorpio "dark" side too much. Some of that darkness is healthy—it's
what makes her deep and sexy and capable of intense intimacy. I'm sure
you like her wild side in bed, wily Sag! Well, that's part and parcel
of the whole Scorpio package.
But you need
to tune in to the other planet in your chart that sits on her Venus—Neptune.
Neptune is capable of great imagination, psychic intuition and empathy.
Try this, darling: on that rare occasion when your Scorpio love does let
her venom fly, ask her what she's afraid of, how you can help her, what
she needs from you, what her fantasy is at that moment. You dig? Disarm
her with your sense of security in yourself and your relationship, and
respond to her volatile side with compassion and true interest in what
motivates her, instead of jumping fast and furious to defend yourself.
What’s
in Store Behind Closed Doors
So what does
the future hold for you two? Well, in March 2001 (if the birth time is correct), lucky Jupiter (your ruler)
transits her Descendant (doorway to the house of partnership). This could
be an incredibly romantic and generous time in her life. She will be open
to giving more to you, as a lover, than ever before. You're in the right
place at the right time buddy, especially if you like to receive, receive,
receive in bed, you wild Sag man, you!
Then, in
June 2001, Jupiter comes back to where it was during the time of her birth—in
her house of love. Whether the wedding date is set for June or not, that
looks like the "jumping off point" for your relationship. That
could be the time that she reassures you well enough to put your worries
aside and jump into this relationship, fully, and truly enjoy what you
have together without so much fear and trepidation.
Then in July
2001, Jupiter hits your Moon in your soulful Twelfth House of endings and
new beginnings. Could it be that then you are able to finally finish your
mourning period for your former wife, and open your heart to your new
(and much, much, much improved) wife? Best of luck to you both, boy!
Jilly
Notes
Send relationship
questions to Jill at ASTROJILLY@aol.com. Please include the words "Bedroom
Astrology" in the subject line.
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