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Dear
Ralfee:
 I
have a dilemma about whether or not I should marry this year. I know
I have Pluto charging through my Second House and maybe missed
Jupiter in my Seventh last year. My girlfriend was born April 18, 1973 in Halifax,
Nova Scotia, time unknown. I was born in the same location, March 24,
1963 at 7:30 pm. The big question is whether or not I am too old for her
and whether it will show up later. I know I am coming up for Pluto squaring
my Moon and natal Pluto. Just how bad can these transits be anyway? I
would appreciate it very much if you could give me at least an astrological
view of our compatibility.
Really worried,
Aries
Dear
Aries:
A ten-year
age difference isn't exactly a May-December romance. You're both adults
and able to make a mature and conscious commitment to marriage. I'm not
sure why getting married this year is such a big issue, but my hunch is
your relationship is uneasy, and worrying about the future is easier than
dealing with what's happening now.
A comparison
between your birth charts reveals the ties that bind, both positive and
negative. But before I launch into an explanation of the energy that flows
between your charts, we need to clean up a few details.
Yes, Jupiter's
transit through your Seventh House of marriage and partnership ended in
April 2000. But there's no need to worry you missed your chance for blissful
coupling. Jupiter's transit through the Seventh House isn't the only opportunity
for a happily-ever-after marriage. Many other astro-influences can indicate
a good time to marry. And just for a little extra information, sometimes
Jupiter's transit through the Seventh House breaks up an unhappy relationship.
Next, Pluto
doesn't really charge through a house. Pluto moves to its own inexorable
rhythm, taking a very long time to transit through a specific sector of
the chart. Pluto's been in your Second House since 1988, transforming
your financial world and examining issues of self-confidence and self-esteem.
This year, Pluto starts its move into your Third House of communication,
signaling profound changes in your day-to-day activities.
Last, Pluto
won't square your Moon until February 2005 and this difficult transit
is apt to have more to do with your work and professional life than marriage.
That's because your natal Moon is in your Sixth House of employment and
rules your Tenth House of career.
Now, back
to your relationship dilemma.
Your girlfriend
has a Sun-Venus conjunction in her natal chart, indicating innate grace
and beauty. The Sun symbolizes the self. Venus, the energy of love. This
positive conjunction just happens to sit in your Seventh House—the house
of marriage. When she entered your life, it must have felt as if a missing
piece of your relationship puzzle dropped into place. It's as if you found
the perfect partner, whose essence, beauty and values are just what you've
been searching for.
What's more,
her Mercury conjuncts your Sun, Mercury, Jupiter and Moon. Mercury represents
the mind. The way she thinks stimulates your mental and emotional process.
Her Mercury also trines your Mars, the ruler of your Seventh House. Conversations
between you are vibrant and vital, and you easily finish each other's
sentences. And you more than likely enjoy talking about your relationship
and processing every little detail.
But there's
a glitch. Her Pluto opposes her natal Mercury, which means her Pluto also
opposes your Moon, Jupiter, Mercury and Sun. Pluto rules the realms of
personal power and unconscious drives. Oppositions create stress and tension.
Standoffs are likely, as are struggles about who's the boss. Your
Pisces Moon is apt to feel her Plutonian power as an almost obsessive undercurrent,
pulling you into deep emotional waters. At some point, you could resent
the power she has over you.
Amping-up
these power themes, her natal Pluto opposes your Sun. You feel like she
has control and you don't. Over time, this, too, could be a problem.
Yet her power
and allure are irresistible to you. Her natal Uranus trines your natal
Venus. This trine always produces profound sexual attraction. Uranus is
provocative and spontaneous. Venus is erotic and playful. When Uranus
and Venus unite, they turn up the heat, making desire impossible to deny.
Unfortunately,
Uranus-Venus contacts are unstable. The Uranus person, in this case, your
girlfriend, feels too free-spirited and independent to make a commitment.
At least that's the way you perceive her. This could be one of the reasons
you feel you should marry now. A legal tie might help you relax about
her level of commitment.
Another challenge
to your relationship also signals power struggles. Your Saturn sits on
her Mars. This conjunction is difficult. Mars wants to move. Saturn wants
to set boundaries. Mars is sexual. Saturn is inhibited. She could experience
you as controlling and stern. You could feel her energy as resistant.
This Saturn-Mars
conjunction happens in your Fourth House, which is the house of the home.
Saturn rules the cusp of your Fourth House, indicating your strong longing
for a straight-up, conventional home life. Your girlfriend may not be
as interested in a traditional family setting, and that could lead to
difficulties and arguments.
Uranus is
just winding down its transit through your Fourth House. That journey
began in 1993. And Uranus sat on your Saturn from March of 2000 and continues
to conjunct Saturn until February of this year. This conjunction could
be a contributing factor to your urge to settle down.
But I wouldn't
rush to the altar. As Uranus leaves your Fourth House and enters your
Fifth House of romance, it forms an immediate conjunction with your natal
Venus. This conjunction is certain to surface sudden flirtations. You
could fall in and out of love a dozen times over the next year. Marry
in haste under transiting Uranus conjunct your Venus, and you're likely
to be just as eager to get a divorce the next morning.
When uncertain
about the best course of action, it's always best to take no unnecessary
action. Again, the "age difference" may be your way of framing
feelings you can't quite name. Before you propose, consider the quality
of your relationship. Do you share the same interests? Can you communicate
with intimacy and ease? Are you committed to doing the personal work it
takes to make any relationship last? Is your love built on reciprocal
passion, values and respect? And, do you have fun together?
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