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Dear Jilly:

Astrology Horoscope: HopeAstrology Horoscope: JimmyI'd greatly appreciate some feedback on whether I should seriously consider a relationship with an "old Scorpio flame" that recently contacted me. We met in 1993 and haven't seen each other in five years, though our connection seems very strong still. I now live on the West coast and he is on the East coast. He is basically a "free spirit" who works only minimally. I broke up with him when it appeared I would be the one working all the time to support us. There is nothing that would lead me to believe anything has changed regarding this issue. Yet, the connection between us can feel so powerful and compelling that I find myself considering a relationship that may not ultimately be good for me.

Is there really a "big love" between us and, if so, is it a healthy love that can be demonstrated in a committed relationship?

Sincerely, Hope

Dear Hope:

“So why has this free-spirited fellow contacted you again?” I wondered when I received your letter. No matter how free this dude may seem, he's a triple Scorpio (Sun, Moon and Ascendant) so I'm sure all his moves are quite plotted! He must've sensed that Jupiter (planet of good luck and expansion) is shining on you right now, Hope. This devil-may-care planet has been transiting your First House of personality since July.

You two do have quite an unpredictable connection. Jimmy's Uranus, a planet that often comes to town in abrupt and unsettling ways, is conjunct your Mars (sex, passion) in homey, settle-down Cancer. Here's the thing, lovergirl: Although when Jimmy wants you he really wants you, his desires are completely erratic. And since you are likely to have the best sex possible with someone you can trust and hook up with for life (that's Mars in Cancer for you), I don't know if Jimmy is your man.

You see, Jimmy's Uranus in Cancer sits in his Eighth House of sex, which means that he could very well propose to you in a moment of passion and then change his mind just as abruptly. In addition, your Saturn (planet of discipline and responsibility) makes a wide conjunction to Jimmy's Moon (emotional nature) and Ascendant (outer persona/physical self) in sexy Scorpio. Basically, the boy is always putting you in a parental role and always taunting you to spank him. This may be fun sometimes as a sex game, but not as a relationship dynamic!

The question is, do you want to play that role only, or do you want more? If you want more, you may be able to get it (may!) but you really have to be a disciplinarian. Praise him and reward him when he's good to you, and withdraw from him when he plays the role of a free (loading!) spirit.

I know that one of your concerns has to do with his erratic job habits. Here's some insight as to why he's so laid back. Jimmy has lucky Jupiter in Taurus (money and pleasure oriented sign) in his Sixth House of daily work. The guy is just fortunate enough to be able to fall into a nice money-making venture when he needs to. He knows he's lucky in this area, and so may be a little lazy because of it. And guess what you have in your house of work, Hope baby? Saturn—which means that you have a strong work ethic and can do well in your day job, but you will always have to work for what you get. (Don't worry though, the harder you work, and the more you plan, the MORE you get!)

In addition, Chiron (an asteroid that represent a spiritual wound that the person must heal) sits right on top of Jimmy’s Venus (planet of love) in melancholy Capricorn in his Second House of permanence. Perhaps Jimmy didn't feel secure in his father's love as a child (Capricorn is associated with father figures). As an adult he may feel perpetually insecure about whether he will ever have permanent love in his life. That's why he may not even TRY to work on a lasting relationship, or why he may unconsciously sabotage it. Ironically, long-term love is just the thing that would heal this childhood wound for old Jimmy.

So what to do with this guy? I suggest you first come up with your own set of "Hope's Rules" and make them clear to Jimmy before you even share one dirty dance with him! In May 2001, Jupiter will transit your Venus, so you are bound to feel extra lucky in love them. Remember, if Jimmy doesn't play by your rules, you will have plenty of other guys to choose from.

Good luck!



Send relationship questions to Jill at Please include the words "Bedroom Astrology" in the subject line.



Jill Dearman is the author of the gay best sellers Queer Astrology For Men and Queer Astrology For Women (St. Martins Griffin/1999). She has been professionally practicing astrology for twelve years and currently writes horoscopes for the national magazines Twist and Girlfriends as well as numerous papers syndicated via Q Syndicate. She has written about subjects from astrology to literature to film and theater in Mademoiselle, Publishers Weekly and HX. An excerpt from her upcoming novel, The Great Bravura, was featured in Best Lesbian Erotica 2000(Cleis Press). She also writes and produces films. The Village Voice called Dearman a "risk surfing playwright" whose work "shocks and rocks." She is a 1999/2000 artist in residence at HERE in New York City.

Jill is also the author of LoveCycles, an email-delivered guide to love and relationships based on individual birth data, available in the Shop@StarIQ.

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For more information about Jill Dearman, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Jill Dearman:

  • Brendan Fraser: More Than Just a Pretty Face   4/27/2001
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: Every Girl's Heroine   4/25/2001
  • Geoffrey Rush: The Moody Marquis   3/23/2001
  • Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt: Still Peaking   1/30/2001
  • Kate Winslet's Passionate Choices   12/29/2000
  • Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: What Does This Woman Want?   12/5/2000
  • Bounce Star Ben Affleck: The Ball is in His Court   12/1/2000
  • Charlie's Angels: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu   11/25/2000
  • Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger: Dr. Seuss Meets Nurse Betty   11/17/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-15-00   11/15/2000
  • Dylan on Dylan   11/10/2000
  • Bono's Return to Roots of Rock   11/4/2000
  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-1-00   11/1/2000
  • Geena Davis and Bette Midler: Big Stars on the Small Screen   10/27/2000
  • Janet Jackson's Down-to-Earth Planets   10/21/2000
  • Gloria Steinem: Happy At Last   10/14/2000
  • The Strange Musical Path of Bjork   9/26/2000
  • Picture Perfect Couple: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston   9/15/2000
  • Harrison and Michelle: A Return to Classic Hollywood   9/8/2000
  • Drew Barrymore: Happily Ever After At Last?   9/1/2000
  • Meg Ryan in the Middle   8/18/2000
  • Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark is Back   8/12/2000
  • The Return of Cat Stevens   8/4/2000
  • Lou Reed and The Smashing Pumpkins: Piscean Themes   7/29/2000
  • Patti Smith: Her Gung Ho Comeback   7/21/2000
  • Rupert Everett: The Ultimate Gemini   7/7/2000
  • Angelina and Billy Bob: Hollywood's Mod, Odd Couple   6/30/2000
  • The Virgin Suicides: New Hollywood Meets Old Hollywood   6/2/2000
  • Opposites Attract On Screen   5/26/2000
  • Beatty and Bening's New Baby   5/19/2000
  • Aquarian Psycho   5/12/2000
  • Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez   5/5/2000
  • Chloe Sevigny's Scorpionic Exploration of Sexuality   3/25/2000
  • Water Signs Rule the Cider House   3/23/2000
  • These Men are from Venus   3/10/2000
  • The Tangled Web of Ripley   3/2/2000
  • Aries Grrrl Warriors: Where Will They Go From Here?   2/18/2000

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