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Dear
Jilly:
 I
was born December 2, 1962, at 9:40 am in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and
am married to a man, Albert, born July 23, 1964 in Kitchener, Ontario,
around midnight. We have been married for fourteen years now, and have
three wonderful children. The marriage itself has been very stormy, mostly
because of me. I lost my sexual interest in my husband early in the marriage
and I can't seem to commit, or I am afraid to trust.
I had an
affair last year (I told him from the beginning) and moved out. Todd,
the man I was with, was born August 22, 1949 in Vancouver, B.C., no time
available. It turned out Todd was very violent and mixed up and was able
to control me (because I believed in him so blindly and gave him all my
power, duh)! He also said that he was trustworthy, but I found out that
was not true either. I really thought I had found the man of my dreams
and the one true person who was my other half.
I am so mixed
up! I wish that I could find the way to be sexually excited by my husband
once again. Mr. Vancouver is out of my life by my choice. I couldn't take
it anymore, and I want to make my marriage work. Can you please help me?
Jody
Dear
Jody:
Before looking
at your marriage, I need to share something about your individual chart
that will affect you whether you're with your other half (my bias here:
that other half doesn't exist for anyone, kid), your better half (your
husband—yep, I think he's a prize, and a sexy one at that) or your evil
half (the rotten Todd). You have Neptune, planet of confusion and illusion
on your Venus (planet of love) in Scorpio, the sign of sexuality and secrets.
This placement suggests that you have a certain addiction to trouble and
the dark side, and that without those elements you may find ways to create
problems within your love life/sex life.
It doesn't
have to be this way, though. Scorpio is a sign that (in the positive)
is deeply interested in emotional truth and hidden motivations. If
you can do some real work on yourself, through therapy, spiritual pursuits,
journal writing—whatever works for you—you can begin to discover WHY you
seek out so much trouble. I don't know what you do for a living, but if
you can funnel some of this mixed up energy into a sexy and creative job,
you could be quite a success! With these passionate Scorpio planets in
your Tenth House of career you may have unrealized talents as an erotic
film producer. Think about it—or something in the same genre, baby—I'm
serious!
Learn
the Right Lesson From Bad Guy Todd
I'm glad
that you got out of your affair with Todd alive. With volatile Pluto on
his fiery Moon in Leo, and erratic Uranus along with his clingy Mars in Cancer,
the man is a potentially dangerous combination of violence and neediness—the
absolute WORST match for someone like you, Jody girl.
Even though
this was a very bad experience, there is a good side to it—a really valuable
lesson to learn. Todd's Pluto sat on your Mars in Leo in the
Eighth House of commitment and sexuality. Pluto sometimes forces us to "kill"
a part of our nature that is destructive in order to let a constructive
offshoot of this part come to life. The lesson here has to do with Leo
in your Eighth House. You need to grow up! Say goodbye to the old part
of you that needs drama and adolescent fantasies (UN-evolved Leo qualities).
Let that part die so evolved Leo qualities can emerge.
What qualities
are those? A slow, simmering, luxurious approach to sexuality and a fierce
loyalty (despite your doubts) to the person you love (Albert). This could
be your chance to come into your North Node (what you're meant to learn/be
in this lifetime) which happens to be in loyal Leo, in your
Seventh House of love. It’s no coincidence that your North Node also sits right on Albert's
Sun, which suggests that he was a positive, teaching, giving force in
past incarnations and can be again in this one—if you let him! This man
is good for you, dammit!
Something
Mystical: The Key to Your Marriage
It is sad,
though, when two fire signs like you, Ms. Sagittarius, and your hubby,
Mr. Leo, have lost the hot flame of passion. But I don't think it is completely
burnt out. I know that sex is the issue in your marriage that you presented
in your letter, so let's get into it, honey.
Neptune in
Scorpio plays a key role for both of you in this relationship. Albert
has that illusory, addicted-to-trouble Neptune in his relationship house,
and it sits on your Venus (just as your own Neptune sits on your Venus).
The "trouble" that he may be addicted to is YOU! Rather than
keep up this emotionally sado (you) masochistic (him) cycle, why not try
something new and more fulfilling?
Neptune is
a deeply mystical planet, and Scorpio is fascinated by sexuality. I really
get a strong sense that you two would benefit from pursuing a form of
mysticism that is compelling to you both, and that would bond you closer
together. Maybe it's as simple as taking tantra classes and learning about
the mystical aspects of touch. Or maybe it's another form of mystical
pursuit. But I highly recommend that you look into a spiritual area that
excites you both on a meaningful level. This could really re-ignite your
sex life and help you two to create your own secret, magical affair—within
the marriage.
And as an
extra added incentive: lucky Jupiter goes over Albert's Venus and Mars
(his love planets) in June 2001 and his sex appeal could really start
to sizzle then if you give him a chance. Jupiter is all about generosity
bringing abundance. So be generous to him—with your heart and your body!
Your StarIQ
Advisor,
Jill Dearman
Send your
question to Advisors@StarIQ.com.
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