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Dear Ralfee:

Help! Am I destined to live out my life on my own and by myself? Am I too independent, stubbornly idealistic, indecisive, untrusting, etc., etc., etc?

Astrology Horoscope: VickiI was born July 31, 1959, at 3:49 pm in El Campo, Texas. I would appreciate your guidance.




Dear Vicki:

The short answer to your question is no, you're not meant to spend your life all alone. Love is always possible. For some of us, giving and receiving love comes easy and relationships aren't an issue. For others, deep-seated emotional themes block the path to partnership, making it harder to establish a meaningful and lasting connection with another human being. But having relationship issues doesn’t necessarily doom you to a lifetime of loneliness. Most of us have partnership problems regardless of our relationship status. Love is the most important journey of a lifetime and very few of us come into this world with a pre-ordained road map delineating how to open our hearts and keep them open to another human being.

Your birth chart reveals several significant relationship themes, the most important of which is a Saturn-Moon opposition. The Moon represents our emotional ground of being. It's our reactive body, our feeling body. The Moon also symbolizes the maternal principle, from the relationship with our biological mother to our relationship with the Divine Mother.

Your Moon is in Gemini, in your Seventh House of relationship. This placement indicates a strong desire for partnership. But Gemini, while gregarious, isn't necessarily warm and fuzzy. This doesn't mean you aren't emotional. What a Moon in Gemini does signal is a tendency to live in your head when it comes to relationship, rather than feeling grounded in your body.

Your Moon in Gemini in the Seventh House also indicates the need for a partner you can talk to, about every little thing, without feeling self-conscious about your stream of consciousness conversational style.

Saturn, in Capricorn, opposes that Moon in Gemini, and here's where we go deeper. Saturn's opposition to your Moon speaks to a difficult relationship with your mother. Saturn, while serious and sober, easily sees the flaws and doesn't mind pointing out what needs to be fixed. This opposition indicates a highly judgmental mother, whose criticism, overt or covert, undermined your emotional confidence. Her strong opinions may have overwhelmed you.

What's more, you may have internalized that negative, faultfinding voice. Certainly, your question indicates stern self-judgment, when you express the cause of your loneliness. The idea that you're too independent, idealistic or indecisive sounds like a litany of oft-repeated reproaches you may have come to believe about yourself.

What's more, a subtle influence by Chiron indicates that your mother's criticism may have been aimed at your need to talk about your feelings, making you self-conscious and ashamed of your knack for chat. Chiron, the wounded healer, sits in your Third House of communication, the natural home of Gemini, in a trine to your Moon.

Chiron's position in the birth chart often reveals where some fundamental split has occurred, and that schism often manifests as shame of some kind. As I've already said, you have a deep need to connect to loved ones through conversation. If your mother didn't honor that need, or if she humiliated you by making critical comments, you would have shut down and learned to see your gregarious nature as a liability instead of an asset.

As a Leo, you have a tremendous need to express yourself. When a Leo's creativity is squelched, their spontaneity suffers. What's more, a Uranus-Sun conjunction feeds this need for unique, dynamic self-expression as it simultaneously stokes the fires of personal independence.

Uranus is also conjunct your Mercury giving you an inventive and innovative mind. Mercury rules your Seventh House of partnership, and its conjunction with Uranus signals the need to partner with people capable of matching your own revolutionary spirit. Again, if you were shamed for speaking out or seeking the path not taken, you would shy away from someone with similar intensity, while you secretly longed for just that type of mate.

The good news is great news. Over the next few years, several major transits provide the potential to cut through this Gordian Knot of relationship issues, as you simultaneously broaden your band of relationship experience.

First, on May 18, transiting Jupiter enters your Seventh House. We love this. Jupiter is an expansive, optimistic force, and when it enters the Seventh House it activates a new twelve-year relationship cycle. During June, Jupiter will conjunct your Moon, opening wide the possibility of meeting someone. But don't worry. June isn't your only opportunity. Jupiter stays in your Seventh House until June of 2002. So there's plenty of time. Take advantage of this positive force. Dust off your dance card, and get out there and meet as many people as possible.

While Jupiter is making its move, transiting Uranus is trining your Moon. This supportive alliance started in April of this year and continues until January 2002. Again, that means there's plenty of time to enjoy the benefits of this transit.

When Uranus trines the Moon lots of emotional breakthroughs are possible. Use this energy to explore your relationship with your mother. If you're not already in therapy, by all means try it while you're under this influence. When we utilize the catalyzing impact of a Uranus transit, we can make profound changes in what has previously been a stagnant pattern.

When Uranus transits the Moon, the people who come into our life are an externalization of a flavor we are hungry to taste in ourselves, which is why relationships formed during a Uranus transit don't necessarily last. But in your case, powerful Pluto transits mitigate Uranus' unstable force.

Pluto is currently squaring your Venus. That square started in January of this year and continues until October of 2002. Squares generate activity, which is another reason my hunch is you'll be meeting lots of people. A word of caution: Pluto-Venus contacts can generate compulsive, fanatical attractions, so you need to pay attention and not get lost in the fantasyland of unrequited love. But—and this is a big but—Pluto is also currently trining your Mercury. That trine began in February of this year and continues until December of 2002. In addition to supplying strong, grounded mental support, because Mercury rules your house of relationship, it is possible to meet someone and make that relationship work.

Instead of dwelling on what's wrong with you, focus on what's right. Love yourself, and you'll begin believing you're loveable. What's more, love your life, your friends, dog, garden, work and whoever and whatever brings you joy, feeds your spirit and keeps you hopeful. As the Beatles once sang, "And in the end the love we take is equal to the love we make."

Your StarIQ Advisor,

Ralfee Finn

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Ralfee Finn is the creator of The Aquarium Age, a weekly and monthly astrology column published nationwide and featured at Committed to compassion, knowledge and growth, Ralfee brings the gifts of clarity and common sense to the often confusing waters of metaphysics and new age philosophy.

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For more information about Ralfee Finn, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Ralfee Finn:

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