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Dear
Ralfee:
Help! Am
I destined to live out my life on my own and by myself? Am I too independent,
stubbornly idealistic, indecisive, untrusting, etc., etc., etc?
 I
was born July 31, 1959, at 3:49 pm in El Campo, Texas. I would appreciate
your guidance.
Namaste,
Vicki
Dear
Vicki:
The short
answer to your question is no, you're not meant to spend your life all
alone. Love is always possible. For some of us, giving and receiving love
comes easy and relationships aren't an issue. For others, deep-seated
emotional themes block the path to partnership, making it harder to establish
a meaningful and lasting connection with another human being. But having
relationship issues doesn’t necessarily doom you to a lifetime of loneliness.
Most of us have partnership problems regardless of our relationship status.
Love is the most important journey of a lifetime and very few of us come
into this world with a pre-ordained road map delineating how to open our
hearts and keep them open to another human being.
Your birth
chart reveals several significant relationship themes, the most important
of which is a Saturn-Moon opposition. The Moon represents our emotional
ground of being. It's our reactive body, our feeling body. The Moon also
symbolizes the maternal principle, from the relationship with our biological
mother to our relationship with the Divine Mother.
Your Moon
is in Gemini, in your Seventh House of relationship. This placement indicates
a strong desire for partnership. But Gemini, while gregarious, isn't necessarily
warm and fuzzy. This doesn't mean you aren't emotional. What a Moon in
Gemini does signal is a tendency to live in your head when it comes to
relationship, rather than feeling grounded in your body.
Your Moon
in Gemini in the Seventh House also indicates the need for a partner you
can talk to, about every little thing, without feeling self-conscious
about your stream of consciousness conversational style.
Saturn, in
Capricorn, opposes that Moon in Gemini, and here's where we go deeper. Saturn's opposition to your Moon speaks to a difficult
relationship with your mother. Saturn, while serious and sober, easily
sees the flaws and doesn't mind pointing out what needs to be fixed. This
opposition indicates a highly judgmental mother, whose criticism, overt
or covert, undermined your emotional confidence. Her strong opinions may
have overwhelmed you.
What's more,
you may have internalized that negative, faultfinding voice. Certainly,
your question indicates stern self-judgment, when you express the cause
of your loneliness. The idea that you're too independent, idealistic or
indecisive sounds like a litany of oft-repeated reproaches you may have
come to believe about yourself.
What's more,
a subtle influence by Chiron indicates that your mother's criticism may
have been aimed at your need to talk about your feelings, making you self-conscious
and ashamed of your knack for chat. Chiron, the wounded healer, sits in
your Third House of communication, the natural home of Gemini, in a
trine to your Moon.
Chiron's
position in the birth chart often reveals where some fundamental split
has occurred, and that schism often manifests as shame of some kind. As
I've already said, you have a deep need to connect to loved ones through
conversation. If your mother didn't honor that need, or if she humiliated
you by making critical comments, you would have shut down and learned
to see your gregarious nature as a liability instead of an asset.
As a Leo,
you have a tremendous need to express yourself. When a Leo's creativity
is squelched, their spontaneity suffers. What's more, a Uranus-Sun
conjunction feeds this need for unique, dynamic self-expression as it simultaneously
stokes the fires of personal independence.
Uranus is
also conjunct your Mercury giving you an inventive and innovative mind.
Mercury rules your Seventh House of partnership, and its conjunction with
Uranus signals the need to partner with people capable of matching your
own revolutionary spirit. Again, if you were shamed for speaking out or
seeking the path not taken, you would shy away from someone with similar
intensity, while you secretly longed for just that type of mate.
The good
news is great news. Over the next few years, several major transits provide
the potential to cut through this Gordian Knot of relationship issues,
as you simultaneously broaden your band of relationship experience.
First, on
May 18, transiting Jupiter enters your Seventh House. We love this. Jupiter
is an expansive, optimistic force, and when it enters the Seventh House
it activates a new twelve-year relationship cycle. During June, Jupiter
will conjunct your Moon, opening wide the possibility of meeting someone.
But don't worry. June isn't your only opportunity. Jupiter stays in your
Seventh House until June of 2002. So there's plenty of time. Take advantage
of this positive force. Dust off your dance card, and get out there and
meet as many people as possible.
While Jupiter
is making its move, transiting Uranus is trining your Moon. This supportive
alliance started in April of this year and continues until January 2002.
Again, that means there's plenty of time to enjoy the benefits of this
transit.
When Uranus
trines the Moon lots of emotional breakthroughs are possible. Use this
energy to explore your relationship with your mother. If you're not already
in therapy, by all means try it while you're under this influence. When
we utilize the catalyzing impact of a Uranus transit, we can make profound
changes in what has previously been a stagnant pattern.
When Uranus
transits the Moon, the people who come into our life are an externalization
of a flavor we are hungry to taste in ourselves, which is why relationships
formed during a Uranus transit don't necessarily last. But in your case,
powerful Pluto transits mitigate Uranus' unstable force.
Pluto is
currently squaring your Venus. That square started in January of this
year and continues until October of 2002. Squares generate activity, which
is another reason my hunch is you'll be meeting lots of people. A word
of caution: Pluto-Venus contacts can generate compulsive, fanatical attractions,
so you need to pay attention and not get lost in the fantasyland of unrequited
love. But—and this is a big but—Pluto is also currently trining your Mercury.
That trine began in February of this year and continues until December
of 2002. In addition to supplying strong, grounded mental support, because
Mercury rules your house of relationship, it is possible to meet someone
and make that relationship work.
Instead of
dwelling on what's wrong with you, focus on what's right. Love yourself,
and you'll begin believing you're loveable. What's more, love your life,
your friends, dog, garden, work and whoever and whatever brings you joy,
feeds your spirit and keeps you hopeful. As the Beatles once sang, "And
in the end the love we take is equal to the love we make."
Your StarIQ
Advisor,
Ralfee Finn
Send your
question to Advisors@StarIQ.com.
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