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 Press Room's Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets' secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain, and reports regularly on her findings there.

Cosmic Café 55:
Mars and Mercury Solve Jupiter's Problem

It was over a week since Jupiter had dropped me at my door, and I was beginning to worry. Our last conversation was about his impending meeting with Saturn-and I knew he was a bit apprehensive about it. Plus, I'd seen Saturn in action in the years I'd studied astrology. I knew for a fact that he was perfectly capable of dampening any planet's spirits when they contacted him- my fun-loving uncle included. So when my galactic cell-phone finally rang, I was relieved, to say the least.

"Jupiter? That you, honey?"

He was delighted that I'd guessed. He laughed and said, "It's me, babe. So how are ya?"

"I was wondering how you were," I answered. "How'd it go with Saturn?"

He laughed again. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I changed my mind about the Saturn thing. Hey, forget this phone thing. How 'bout I come get you for a drink? You ready for some adult beverages?"

I was. He picked me up in 20 minutes, and we chatted lightly on the way, as per his current Gemini state of mind. When we arrived, we were greeted by Mars and Mercury. Mars, in excessive Sag, waved to us from his seat at the bar where three huge beer mugs sat empty. Mercury was in Gemini, wearing a Walkman, three cell-phones and two beepers. He was also playing a game-boy-and all of this while skating. He barely noticed when we came in. Still, Jupiter called out, "How ya doin', buddy?" in his direction.

"So tell me what happened," I said, once he'd poured our drinks and squeezed into the bar stool beside me.

"Well," he said, after a long slug of beer, "I figured the only thing worse than going to see Bush was going to see Saturn. I'm just getting' ready to head out when Mercury comes in, and tells me to sit tight. Says he's got a plan, then he goes over to see Mars."

"Now, my pal Mars here is retrograde, right?" I glanced over at him, realized that for the god of action to be sitting still, something had to be up. He winked, made a silly Sag face, and then went back to his beer. "So Mercury goes and talks to him, says he and Mars have decided to un-do something, and that something is gonna help me out…big time. And since this was Mars' project to start with, I was only too happy to let him have it back."

"Anyway, Mars was worried that Bush would get into trouble cuz he had a little bit too much power, right?" I nodded, and once again felt a little l like I was talking to Tony Soprano. "So the two of them put their heads together and figure the only way to fix that is to do something about the Congress. Mercury's in Gemini, so he's only too happy to change his mind about something, right? And Mars is retrograde. So they both go off together, and when they come back they put on CNN and tell me to watch, right?"

I was beginning to understand. I had just seen it on television myself.

"So I sit down in front of the tube with my beer, and I see this Senator Jeffords from Vermont. Pretty country, Vermont is, you know, honey?" He took another gulp, then continued. "He trudges up to the microphone, and before I know it, the guy's talking about how he's not happy with his party-the Republican Party." He could hardly hold back a grin.

It was all true, and Mercury and Mars had certainly been behind it. They were in an opposition at the moment, and although their oppositions didn't usually last very long, or pack this much of a punch, Mars was only two weeks into his retrograde, moving at barely half his usual pace, and Mercury was slowing down to turn retrograde himself. With both planets locked into aspect and moving this slowly, they were ready to make a collective point, and they certainly had done just that.

Senator James Jeffords rocked the country with his decision to leave the Republican Party, opting to become the Senate's only Independent. Although he hadn't actually defected to the Other Side, he had single-handedly shifted the control of power in that body from Republican to Democrat for the first time since 1994. Before this, the Senate had been an even 50/50, a decision that had been made through Mars' influence, since at the time of the November 2000 election-extravaganza he'd been in balance-loving Libra. It all made perfect sense.

Jupiter went on. "Anyway, case closed. Jeffords's outta there, says he doesn't like what Bush is doing. My team's got the majority now, so Dubya's gonna have to play nice if he wants to play at all. Worked out good." He smiled and slapped Mars on the back, causing the God of War to just about choke on his drink. Good thing he was in a good mood, in Sag, I thought, or there might have been a battle.

"So. That's that, babe," Jupiter continued. "We worked it all out." He smiled and hugged me around the shoulders. "Want some dinner? Moon's in Leo, and she's in the mood to do it up big."

I nodded. Jupiter's problem was solved, he was in a fine mood, and what could possibly be better than a Moon-cooked dinner at the café with this interesting, witty crew? We moved to the dinner table, Jupiter with remote in hand, and settled down to watch the evening news.

Read the entire Cosmic Café Saga.
Cosmic Café Archive



Kim Rogers-Gallagher is a well known columnist, lecturer and author of Astrology for the Light Side of the Brain and Astrology for the Light Side of the Future (ACS Publications). You can reach Kim by email.

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