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Lots
has been written about Mercury retrograde, but
as you probably guessed, most of it never made it to the printer. And
this article will prove to be very difficult to create because my secretaries
called in sick, all of my astrology books except for two are packed in
a storage locker in Seattle and the entire Internet is running at an average
of eleven baud, fast enough to load a StarIQ page in three days. Plus,
I'm running late and I really don't feel like doing this. But
I can wing it. I'm a pro.
One
thing I've never seen written about Mercury retrograde is that each one
of these experiences is different, since the aspects to Mercury are different
at any given time of year, and anyway, Mercury never stays the same for
longer than it takes for two people to agree on any minor point. Also,
the quality of a Mercury retrograde experience will be shaped by the way
it slides, bangs, scratches or dances triumphantly around one's natal configuration.
But
whatever the causes or consequences, which astrologers only pretend to
understand, some retrograde phases seem to turn computer hardware to toast,
especially for people who don't believe in astrology. Others eat only
financial databases only while you're backing them up. Others are mean
just to Macintoshes (the PC was both invented and patented with Mercury
retrograde, so you can't tell the difference). One weird time, my telephone
started acting like a microwave oven, and simultaneously the FedEx guy
showed up with 100 pounds of organic yak butter. In fact, I had ordered
75 pounds.
Other
retrograde phases make a great big sucking sound. Once I noticed that
my dog grooming service accidentally charged me $3,546.99 to wash my poodle
on the very day I needed about that much cash to buy a plane ticket to
Honolulu, but as it worked out, that conference was moved to San Diego,
which I found out because I ended up with a load of somebody else's e-mail,
plus there was a seat sale for San Diego that I discovered thanks to some
spam, marking the first time in galactic history that someone actually
benefited from e-marketing.
Then
the dog groomer credited my card $5,346.00, but the poodle met a skunk.
This really happened.
Once,
all these people claiming to be my ex-girlfriends called, but that was
because for one very long afternoon my phone number was connected to 153
different peoples' names in the Directory Assistance database, all of
whom were named Antonio.
In
one of my two astrology books not currently in storage, Christian
Astrology by William Lilly (the first astrology text in English,
published in 1647), there is some interesting commentary on Mercury. Writes
old Billy Lilly, "We cannot call him either masculine or feminine, for
he is either the one or other as joined to any planets…with the good he
is good, with the evil planets ill…[and] he is the author of subtlety,
tricks, devices, perjury etc." In other words, Mercury takes on the characteristics
of the signs, houses and circumstances in which he finds himself; he changes
a lot. You could say he's subject to peer pressure, just like a teenager
or child (Mercury represents those people).
Or,
you could say that Mercury is cosmic tofu, normally bland and slippery,
but conveniently absorbing the flavors of the sauces in the casserole
around him.
In
my other astrology book, the incredibly influential Esoteric Astrology
by Alice A. Bailey (start reading it today and you'll understand it by
2005), she describes Mercury as the "star of conflict" and notes that
it's "the major planet of relationships, for it governs and 'engineers'
(if I may use such a term) the interplay between our Earth with its conditioning
constellations."
Mercury
is the cosmic modem. So with that kind of job, you can't blame the whole
universe for going a little off-the-beam when Mercury seems to pick up
and run backward just when you were least expecting it.
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